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Well, I finally made the decision today that I’m just too stressed out to go through with the exhibition in July. I’m disappointed in myself.
And incredibly relieved.
Before I get bogged down and convince myself that this is one of many in a long line of fizzle-outs that will doom me from success for all eternity, I’m going to intervene on myself.
Bob Wilde graciously wrote to me tonight: “One has to pick and choose carefully from all the good things there are to do.”
I need to remember that I have lots of time to do all sorts of great things. I don’t need to do it all right now. I don’t even need to do all of it, ever.
I’ve had this idea for a project in my head so long that I don’t even know if it’s an original idea or if I’m stealing it from someone else. I intend to photograph my dining room table daily for one month, and as you can see, I’ve already started. It’s not going to change the world but it sure feels good to be making the commitment to making at least one picture everyday.
Perhaps this is the answer to “what should I photograph for my July exhibition?” And as Laurie so encouragingly pointed out, I don’t need to bog myself down with the pressure and expense of fancy framing. I like the idea of mounting photos onto foam core and calling it done.
I would also like to display a small grouping of portraits that I still need to sort out. I’m still considering the landscape thing. Maybe I haven’t quite made my peace with that.
Historically speaking, money has never been all that plentiful around here.
But I foolishly underestimated some upcoming expenses and we spent a portion of our tax refund on a trip to Vegas instead of saving it and we went for too long without medical insurance and now have medical bills from a couple rounds of strep throat. Oh yeah, and there are the payments now for the camera that I just had to have.
I hate to be sounding negative here, but I don’t have $1500 to spend on framing for the show in July. I don’t even have like $100 for doing it.
Crap.
And how far I’ve strayed from feeling gratitude.
It’s sick. The moment I decide to quit letting the stupid excuses keep me from accomplishing my goals, an ACTUAL excuse for being unable to concentrate surfaces.
I’m going to play this by ear and see how it goes. My family has started a private online forum elsewhere to post updates and thoughts and prayers and the like for the aforementioned “family member,” my dad. For now, I intend to keep the bulk of my thoughts about that separate from this blog.
(I will reserve the right, however, to change my mind.)
Back on task it is, then. According to my exhibition timeline I should have already chosen an area to focus on, and I will soon be reaching a deadline for ordering a first round of prints. Uh, like tomorrow.
It’s funny that this all started when I finally gave myself permission to drag out a bunch of my old work, to see if the gallery in town might be interested in showing a few of them. Well, I got a good response and tentative dates for a show and artist reception.
That felt pretty darn good, so I decided to buy the digital SLR camera I’ve wanted for a couple of years. And now I am so excited about my new camera I can’t wait to make new pictures. I don’t know if I’ll end up showing any of my old work.
Because I want to make new pictures for my show in July!
Here’s the deal. I need deadlines. I know this about myself. If I don’t have a deadline I’ll spend forever thinking about all the possibilites. Or I’ll get so hung up in perfectionism that I’ll never declare it done.
Here are my deadlines:
March 23 - April 11. Shoot. Shoot. Shoot. One photo a day minimum. Experiment. Shoot all sorts of things. Post at least three photos here per week.
April 11. Decide which direction/s to pursue. Limit: two subject areas
April 11-20. Keep shooting and posting
April 20. Order prints, round one. Target number: 15-20
May 1-4 (TBD). Meet with Bob to select work (and title) for show, start postcard design
May 5. Order additional prints. Finish any cyanotype printing at home by May 10.
May 15. All framing materials ordered
May 18. Postcard design to printer
June 1. Address list ready
June 9-10. Postcards addressed
June 11. Postcards in mail
June 27. Everything framed, ready to hang
July 1. Drop off all work at studio
July 6. Bask in my accomplishment.
What steps did I miss? I’ve never done this before!
After about three and half years of procrastinating, I finally contacted Bob Wilde of Robert Wilde Studios a couple of weeks ago. I participated in Dassel’s Red Rooster Days Art Show there in 2003, and my photo ”Lauren, Two Years Old” earned second place.
“Lauren, Two Years Old”
(Sorry, this is a really dusty scan of it…)
At that time, we had talked about the possibility of exhibiting some of my work in his gallery on a regular basis, but I didn’t follow through with that until now. I had the mistaken (and now discarded) notion that I would have to produce all new work to even think about bringing photos in for him to look at.
I loaded up a whole bunch of my student work and a few random things I’ve done over the past couple of years and brought it to the studio to spread out and examine.
He didn’t say much, although he did say that the work that actually sells around here is mostly rural landscapes (sigh). I guess my breast drawings combined with litho prints of my kids’ faces don’t have a chance at getting sold. (I would post one here, but they are too huge to scan, and I don’t know anything about getting a good scan of a slide)
But we discussed some framing options for my series The Artistic Process of Parenting and he suggested a display of about 7-15 pieces and an artist reception, set tentatively for July 6, 2007. I’ll be sure to send everyone I know a postcard!
The goal is to gain some exposure, connect with some other galleries, and put a line on my resume. I can already feel the momentum starting.
