Category Archive

As I rearrange the top navigation bar, I am scrapping the Gratitude page, but I didn’t want to lose my thoughts on this.   It’s also reminded me that I have a bunch of other gratitude posts waiting in the wings.

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I decided to make a commitment during Lent this year to pray with each one of my kids every day. It’s something I’ve squirmed about for years.  I want to share a sense of spirituality and faith with my kids, but I don’t want to assault them with it in any way. 

My Catholic grade school experience was filled with intense and positive prayer experiences and I felt very close to God, especially as I prepared to receive sacraments.  Even with the positive experiences, though, guilt had its barnacle-like way of attaching itself to my psyche, and I’ve allowed my kids to experience their prayer formation in Catholicism with some hesitancy.

I don’t know what I was expecting to come from my Lenten commitment to prayer, but a wonderful surprise has emerged: an incredible sense of gratitude.

Kids are great at this.  It seems like we are thanking God each night for everything just the way it is.  If it snows, we are thankful for beauty of the snow.  If the snow melts, we are thankful for the warm weather.  If we have strep throat we are thankful for medicine.  As we feel better, we are thankful to be healthy again. 

Every occasion, a chance to give thanks.

Great teachers throughout history have told us the value of gratitude, and I’m experiencing that truth for myself.  It is my Catholic influence that motivates me to pray using a “formula” I recall from grade school that includes first foremost, thanks and praise to God.  Recently, my sister Becca shared with me that Buddha taught that when we are feeling grateful, there is no room for want.  Synchronistically, last week my neighbor Blane lent us the DVD “The Secret” which recommends gratitude as a way to bring more positive feelings into our lives. 

I intend to bask in it. 

I recently came across what is probably the oldest photograph I own of me and Sean together.  Fourteen years ago I was a junior in high school, and Sean was a senior.  We were in the same photography class taught by Mr. Coffee in the basement of the convent at St. Bernard’s.

April, did you take this picture? 

 Sometimes I feel so damn lucky that things have worked out so well for us. 

 Can you believe we’ve been married for twelve years already?  Where does the time go?

Please remember that I write all this in a spirit of gratitude, not conceit.  I am just as God made me.  I am humbled that God has given me such incredible gifts.  

He made me curious, optimistic, and enthusiastic.  He has given me abundant love to share. He made me intelligent, strong, and capable, flexible, spontaneous, and intuitive.  He has made me compassionate and idealistic.  He has given me good physical and emotional health.

He blessed me with creative talents and has lit a fire in me to share them with the world:

MUSIC

Where do I begin?  I am so grateful that the bulk of my music formation happened in the context of praise and worship.  Stewardship of my gifts is important to me.  Music is one area of my life that I have continued to develop and pursue consistently.  My desire to learn new things manifests in music as I learn to play new instruments or flex my musical muscles in new ways: writing original songs, performing at the coffee shop and at school, teaching piano, directing a choir.  I marvel at the skills I have gained in organization and leadership through my pursuit of musical excellence.

Music is something I pursue with confidence, natural ability, and enthusiasm.  Music touches my soul and God uses music through me to touch other souls.  What a beautiful thing.

ART

When I was in college, I truly felt like I could label myself an artist.  My open mind and a safe, supportive environment mixed and amazing things happened.  I thought creative original thoughts and manifested them through artwork.  I am still capable of doing that.  I found the discipline then and I still have it in me.  I know how to work hard and can create honest art that makes people think.  I can speak intelligently about art. 

WRITING

Speaking of an intelligent voice, I have stuff to say about life!  About parenting!  Marriage!  School lunch!  Writing makes sense to me.  My curiosity about the world makes me a keen observer, and I have a rich desire to make sense of it all. 

HOME HANDY WOMAN

Okay, actually, Sean and I are both home improvement junkies.  Always looking for a fix.  Our idea of a good time is tearing out the carpet, replacing the rotted subfloor and installing hardwood flooring.  I am confident using tools and I love learning new things.  I also have an enormous amount of respect for houses and how they function and become a member of the family.

So many blessings!  Do you see how much work there is for me to do?

What about feeling thankful for the crappy times? 

I suppose it’s worth asking:  if this law of attraction stuff means anything, will I attract more negative experiences by feeling grateful for hard times in my life?

Think of the immense value of facing and overcoming challenges.  One of the “worst” times in my life happened over a period of about five years as I hurled into parenthood at age seventeen, I became a wife at eighteen, and then became a stressed-out, college-student mother of two by age nineteen.  Over the next couple of years, my marriage held on by a thread. We paid for groceries and rent with proceeds from student loans.  Weekends were all about the escape that the chemistry of a party provided, not to mention the opportunity to attract lots of attention from the men in my life at that time.

I resented being a wife and was a physically and emotionally violent mother at times.  Sheer determination to break every stereotype of “teen mom” and “teen marriage” flung us clumsily and unhappily forward.  Of course, we only managed to make it appear to others that we were breaking the stereotypes. Success at that point meant staying together no matter how miserable. 

Getting to the other side took time.  Thank God I decided to major in art and writing, requiring intense introspection and risk-taking expression.   And thank God for ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education), which somehow magically combined child development education, stress management and psychotherapy.

I wouldn’t wish teen pregnancy at a Catholic high school on my worst enemy, but I’m thankful that I went through it. I’m glad for the students and teachers in my high school that looked down on me and even openly ridiculed and punished me.  I thank them for it, because it made me stronger and more determined.  They wanted me to disappear, and it made me want to be in their face even more.  Thank God for my friends, family, and the support of a couple key adults in my life at that time.

Thank God that I’ve emerged into a place where I celebrate my marriage and my motherhood. By some miracle, I didn’t damage my kids beyond repair during an impressionable time in their lives.  I thank God that my support net was wide and strong and capable (the main reason my kids aren’t damaged).  I thank God for Sean’s forgiveness during my brush with infidelity.  I thank God for resilience.  For conversations with my mom who understood and encouraged me.  For love. 

I’m feeling inspired to inspired to write more about this period of learning in greater depth.  Yes,  essays are a-brewin’. 

As far as the law of attraction goes, I’ve decided that I will not attract more negative experiences by feeling grateful for the rough times in my past.  The things I’m grateful for are the lessons learned, the love I received, and the strength I drew upon to overcome struggles.  Those are positive things. 

Bring ‘em on.

I am incredibly grateful for my family.

A. is my thirteen year old daughter.  Kind and sensitive, she is musically talented and gifted with enthusiasm. She truly enjoys helping others and is a shining star of positive attitude.  She is creative and smart.  She is unafraid of trying something new and to follow her own path. Her unique ideas and ways of thinking blow me away.  She has been given the gift of intuition. She trusts me and talks to me when something is wrong or when she has a serious question about growing up.  I am happy for the warm relationship we have.  She is beautiful and healthy and strong.

L. is my ten year old daughter.  She has a gift for writing and drawing.  I appreciate her passion for books.  She has a wonderful way of respecting younger kids and playing with them on their level.  She is strong-willed and holds deep convictions.  Her caring nature is apparent in her love of animals.  She is beautiful and healthy, and she knows what she wants.  She is incredibly affectionate has been given the gift to touch others in a healing way.

C. is my four year old daughter.  She has a strong spirit.  She knows what she wants and she knows how to express it.  Her wild imagination and flair for the dramatic makes her a joy to watch.  She is solemn and grateful in prayer, and I believe that she hears God speaking to her.  Wildly affectionate and incredibly intelligent, she is a keen observer and looks up to her sisters a great deal.  She is healthy, beautiful, and special.

J. is my two year old son.  When he joined our family, our life barely skipped a beat because of his flexibility and charm.  He is confident and caring and smart.  He has a wonderful sense of humor and is a voracious eater, enjoying new tastes.  He takes in new experiences in small, manageable bites.  He trusts his feelings.  He is healthy and beautiful and loving and imaginative.

S. is my husband of twelve years.  He is a wonderful provider, an excellent and fun friend, a considerate lover and a creative, intelligent thinker.  He has an amazing ability to read people.  I respect his ability to dream big.  The only thing bigger than his dreams is his heart.  What a capacity to love.  I feel adored and revered by him.  He believes in me. 

Our marriage is strong. We make a dynamic team, fueled by our passion for a satisfying life together.  We make things happen.  We both have interests we pursue outside of our marriage that energize us.  We are deeply committed to our relationship and to our family.  We act with intention in our lives.  We have overcome many obstacles together.  We trust each other.  We love each other.  Our marriage kicks ass.